In response to the recent post, New Phobia: The Old Normal, several readers contributed their thoughts that I believed were worthy of sharing. They are posted below.
These contributions were from readers that spent time in thought (and data) before making conclusions that they considered were the best for them. Not everyone has to agree with their viewpoints. Nonetheless, this is a place we can share different perspectives while acknowledging that we all may have different feelings on the subject.
Perhaps one advantage of being an older adult is understanding how uniquely we are created. As we age, we continue to gain an appreciation of others when our opinions are shared kindly and considerately.
MY NORMAL
~Contributed by Mindy Buckley–June 2020
“This is the new normal”
Or so they say,
But nothing about this year
Is normal to me.
Normal to me
Is showing love and compassion,
Not standing 6 feet apart
While we only leave home for essentials.
Normal to me
Is greeting someone
With a smile, a hug, and a kiss;
Not elbow bumps, temperature readings, and masks.
Normal to me
Is seeing a person
For who they are inside,
And nothing more.
Normal to me
Is being able to be different,
Having opposing views,
And not being hated for it.
Normal to me
Is feeling happy and content,
Safe and secure;
Not anxious and stressed.
Nothing about 2020
Is normal.
Nothing about living in fear
Of a virus, violence, or thinking differently
Is normal.
The only truth to
“This is the new normal”
Is that it is new.
But nothing happening in this world
Is my normal.
I Hug Willingly
~Contributed by Jennifer Blair–June 2020
Like you, I hug people willingly. Yesterday, I visited my best friend’s 82-year-old mother. It was her birthday and she hated to be alone. She is healthy, loves to have fun with friends, but has some health issues. My plan was to pick up the flower arrangement I ordered. I would stop by to drop off the flowers and card. Stand in her driveway for a few minutes to say hello and drive off.
She invited me inside. She does not believe in masks but has been home for most of the pandemic. She does not believe it is as serious as they say. She is cautious because she wants to see her sons, daughter, their spouses and her grandchildren. She wants to see her “adopted” daughter. We hugged, drank a glass of wine, and visited. Our political opinions are different for the most part. I respect her, think the world of her and consider her a dear friend. It was wonderful to visit and to receive and give the hugs. Minutes after I left, I called her daughter. We hung up quickly because her mother was calling to tell her about our visit. She was nearly to tears telling her daughter how lovely it was to see me acknowledge her birthday in a meaningful, heartfelt way.
I wish to visit more people. I came home last night and thought, do I need to give myself two more weeks before I go back to someone else’s home? Must I continue to drop off food, groceries and mail to my father in the driveway? I believe I must continue a modified form of social distancing for the betterment of other people. I pray we never have another pandemic such as COVD-19. If we do, and I am 82 years old, I hope my younger friends take care of me.
Balancing Risk/Rewards
~Contributed by Ken Kodger–June 2020
There were over 80,000 USA citizens who died during the “normal” 2017-2018 flu season. It is reported that more have now died from the C-19 virus. Is this higher death rate the result of inconsistent reporting or a greater deadly virus? We will never know. What we do know is that all pandemics have been short-lived because persons gain antibodies which until recently ONLY occurred through contact.
The idea that one more death from the virus is unacceptable is a ridiculous statement. That sentiment ignores the truth that death is a part of life. However, as our nature generally is to preserve life, especially our own, we are generally inclined to preserve life. That inclination requires each of us to strive to minimize the constant dangers which have surrounded “life” ever since Adam and Eve were required to leave paradise and do the best we can to live a safe life. The meaning of a “safe” life has changed throughout man’s history. Today, for instance, if we were to find even one more death unacceptable through automobile accidents, we would have to all stop driving. That would result, for most of us in the USA, a less pleasing life, BUT it would be safer — maybe!
We all judge our lives against some imaginary “happy” life. We all knowingly take “acceptable” risks with our bodies. Most of us are ruled internally to do what we can achieve with the least amount of physical and mental pain. Some of us look beyond the pain of the moments and achieve greatness. Greatness can be achieved in both the eyes of the world and in the judgment of God or not in both.
The point is, most persons are informed enough to know what is in their best interests. Those who still feel threatened by the thought of contracting the virus should be encouraged to not leave their homes.Those who feel they can chance getting the virus can take the same chance as they do with their life when taking their car to the store. Persons keep buying automobiles even though they realize that over 35,000 Americans die EACH YEAR and also result in over 2.2 million injuries EACH YEAR. Car purchasers have enough information to balance the risk/rewards of driving. In like manner, civilian authority need to overcome any sense of guilt for opening up our society to normal business once they have outlined the reasonable risks. By now, we all know the risks and I for one understand that the best way I can help stop the virus pandemic is be healthy and concerned with exposure to the C-19 virus.
I just read all of the posts and I thank Mindy, Jennifer, Ken, and James for sharing their thoughts. I’m in a fight with leukemia and don’t feel up to sharing any thoughts but I will expend the energy to let those who did share know that I appreciate them and I’m glad I read what they had to say. Sincerely,
Praying for you, Melba!
I just turned 73 and am in the “cross hairs of covid19. In my younger years i abused my health through my partying and eventually gained 90 pounds to 274. My first daughter was born when I was 41. Suddenly I was not the object of my selfish happiness. That all changed the second I saw her. I wanted more, Another daughter at 46 and a third one at 49. I realized that I would have to be there for the girls I loved. I gave up the partying and dropped the weight and the last time I missed work was 24 years ago, appendicitis. I am healthy now then ever before and after living in apartments for years, I bought a house. You are all invited to my mortgage burning party in 2048. I have 2 of my daughters still living with me and the oldest lives within walking distance.
We, my daughters and I live each day with a plan to make the most of each day. We take one day vacations or walk to our nearest metro park to breathe in the fresh air, walk through the woods and contemplate the wildlife and the solitude of the forest. Nothing has really changed for us, other than more time to enjoy nature and family.