A Sarcastic Perspective:
The 2020 pandemic has brought about the fastest healthy changes ever seen in a society!
Sometimes referred to as the “silver lining” in this very dark cloud, the improvements in public health have become more obvious as people are outdoors proudly sporting sleeveless tops and shorts to show off newly toned and slim-downed bodies.
A local small business owner said, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I guess it’s TRUE that we really did need the government to intervene!”
In a typical year, almost 650,000 people die from heart disease and over 80,000 from diabetes. In the last six months, these numbers are trending downward from both categories due to newly mandated healthy lifestyle changes.
Although many people are still arguing whether there should have been government involvement to this extent, data indisputably shows that society is becoming healthier as a whole, making a virus or any illness a lesser threat to our active robust society.
Society Appreciates Propaganda as it Brings Healthy Changes
From the beginning of the pandemic, the government asked the media to join hands to tell the masses to “Exercise and STAY HEALTHY.” In recent weeks, the expanded mantra, “Buy healthy – Eat healthy – Be healthy,” has been plastered all over social media. Posts of people drinking excessive alcohol or too-sugary desserts are being removed by the censorship panel. This continues to spiral the public into a whirlwind of renewed health.
The Return of Home Gardening and Home Cooking
Folks have tuned into their televisions and the internet more than ever before. Advertisers are paying high prices to promote their businesses on the most popular viewing options, which have now become how-to shows on healthy eating, home gardening, and exercises for beginners. During the last month, the most searched term on the internet was “vegetable recipes” with the highest number of clicks ever seen before.
The Media Plays a Role in Healthy Changes
Mr. Green from WIIFM, a highly respected CEO of a top global media company, said, “It’s ironic that a pandemic would turn out to be a boon for our media company and advertisers, but, more importantly – the public! The health of the U.S. is actually improving and we’re thrilled to play a small role in helping our country come together again!”
FREE Health and Wellness Programs are Popular
The media’s power has never been as far-reaching and evident as this year. People suffering from obesity and other co-morbidities have sprung into action enrolling in the newly developed FREE health and wellness programs.
Thankfully, when the virus first spread in China, U.S. media companies published articles strongly suggesting that everyone immediately adopt healthier lifestyles. They repeatedly hammered readers, viewers, and subscribers with information about “underlying health concerns,” explaining what chronic disease is, how it happens, and how it could often be reversed with habitual changes.
Forward-thinking localities have changed zoning requirements so residents could raise chickens in their own backyards. They’ve hosted free online public programs for increased wellness. The mayor of Little Big Town said, “These are unprecedented times that call for expansion of educational programs. I don’t know why we didn’t do this years ago! People are looking so much healthier now. Doctors are almost out of work since there is less chronic illness!”
Unity Among Governors Enhances the Health of Taxpayers
Thankfully, governors of all 50 states banded together to create healthy mandates to enhance the health and wellness of citizens. Once U.S. citizens received their “Vita-cards,” they could receive vegetables and fruit at any store of their choice for FREE.
No More Fighting Over Veggies
During the first two weeks, finding fresh fruits and vegetables was a challenge! Bins were empty that had been full of broccoli, cabbages, and cauliflower just weeks before. Initially, people hoarded vegetables in their homes, cooking them up and freezing the extras for future meals. Now that the initial surge has settled, grocers have been able to maintain a supply to meet the public needs.
Seed Companies Will Have To Increase Supply to Meet this New Demand
Seed companies are still depleted of stock from the new gardeners who planned and prepared garden plots this year. Neighborhoods have even expanded space in community gardens so everyone can participate in growing local food.
Bravo for Government’s Accurately Detailed Information
Families have a renewed commitment to health and strength. A local father of three said, “I’m determined to keep my family healthy by eating better and we’re all getting stronger with this government-mandated exercise plan! I have to admit the CDC has really helped us understand that the most important thing of all is to take good care of our health by eating quality food, in proper portions, and exercising regularly, too. Now I feel great!”
Shut Down Of Processing Plants Worth the Unemployment It Created
“Yes, I was angry when they shut down the junk food processing plants at first, but as I see everyone shaping up and looking so much better now, I understand why it was necessary. I still miss my Cheetos, but now I know chemicals, preservatives, food dyes, and MSG are bad for me. I wish they’d taken that stuff out of our food years ago!”
The Return of the Family Farmer
Supply and demand are still not equalized as people stand in long lines for meats from humanely-raised animals on small farms. Industrial farms continue to sell the remainder of their live cattle to small family-owned farms, allowing further opportunities for environmentally-friendly and sustainable living in communities.
More Healthy Changes as Fast Food Restaurants are Exposed for FAKE FOOD
Fast food restaurants continue to close this week as protestors continue to demand a defunding of fake industrial foods. Five major fast-food chains permanently closed their doors this past month with employees declaring they are “no longer willing to participate in providing food with such low health standards.”
While you were reading the above, did you say to yourself, “NONE OF THIS IS TRUE!”
The truth is that there are two statements above that ARE true. Can you determine which two?
I hope you were able to laugh a little and enjoy this sarcasm, but if it made you think a little bit, then please share your thoughts in the comment box below…
And if you really do want to find FREE healthy information, please look at our 6 Weeks to Wellness Program! If you have questions, you can always email Info@AgingGracefully.TV.
The man talking about the drunk is lying
I sent you the answer!
Okay Kathryn, I get the spoof, but what if things really did change? It wouldn’t be instantaneous. It is a much longer and more intense project than our brief and barely useful lockdown. Changing food from fast and always accessible addictives: sugars, salt, starches and marketing additives for flavor, color and preservation, over to things that grow in the earth is a process not a simple buying choice. That healthy conversion takes at least a growing season of extra time to learn those garden projects, shopping patterns and recipes, and it takes some of us a long and painful withdrawal, physically, because the addictive poisons of processed foods are real and physical addictions. But also needed are the lifestyle changes, the Pavlovian training that when a burger ad appears on TV the drool is for a carrot or watermelon slice. It is not a choice of whimsy we can simply make for ourselves just because some say it is healthy. Americans are the victims of an intentional marketing campaign urged onto us since childhood by the sponsors of the four food groups of the 1950 grade school lessons. We have been taught an intentional lesson designed to benefit meat and dairy industries that food is just plate trimmings unless it is brown or white. Gravy is food; parsley is decoration. A BLT is bread and bacon. The Lettuce and tomato are decorative options. It’s not just food – it is who we are. And the changeover is huge and expensive.
For poor people it is even worse, because the food available in urban food deserts, or food that makes most sense with limited funds has a forever shelf life. Who could take a chance on a one dollar apple that may rot, when four quarters in a vending machine buys a bag of chips that will last forever and a day?
But a real “silver lining” does shines through bluer skies over India.
And the strange new habit I have acquired is that I realize my thoughts really are for the well-being of others, each time I don my cloth mask.
Thank you for your comment, JK. I AGREE it would be a long time, but the later we start… well, the longer the end result! You always bring up good things to think about or ponder on!
Fantastic, needed a great laugh and got one. thanks for your commentary, on point as usual